The missing iPhone disclaimer

I am throwing this into the newsletter this week. But I will post it here because I spent too much time writing it.

The Apple iPhone came out this Friday. We have taken the opportunity to write up the disclaimer that should appear on the device, but does not.

The Apple iPhone is operated by touch screen only. There are no hard buttons thus it should not be used while driving. Checking messages and dialing requires constant site of the screen as the buttons are not distinguished by touch. Dialing can only be done by keeping your eyes on the dial-pad. This prevents hitting the wrong buttons. The Apple iPhone display and touchscreen are only visible in low light. Direct sunlight prevent the screen from being viewable until you go in doors. When showing your iPhone to friends and family, make sure to wipe the screen of any face goo before letting them handle or view the device. Do not show the Apple iPhone Internet capabilities to friends or family unless you are operating it under a WiFi signal. The slow AT&T data speeds will not allow observes to be as impressed as they should be with a $500+ phone. Should the battery run down in 18 months, you can send your phone into Apple and it will be replaced within two weeks, any data on the phone should be backed up prior to sending in the phone. When showing off the great features of the iPhone, you must show the following:

1. Voice mail and text messages can be checked in any order.

2. You can drag icons around.

3. You can view YouTube videos (don't try this unless you are operating under WiFi as stated above).

4. Show them a video, some pictures and how it plays iTunes music.

Do not do the following when showing off your iPhone. Do not let any non-iPhone owner type on the onscreen keyboard. Do not mention that the Internet based features are only worth using when you are in a library, outside of an upscale appartment complex or anywhere else that you may happen across an open WiFi broadcast. Do not answer questions about coverage or how well it works as a phone. Do not get into a feature comparison with any Palm Treo owner. Should you be confronted by Treo owner simply insist that the Treo sucks and that the Treo screen is tiny and some models don't even have WiFi. If the Treo owner shows you features that are not available on the iPhone, simply say, "Sheeea! That's stupid who needs that feature? Say this even if the feature really is cool like the easy to feel and press buttons, the ability to view and listen to online video and radio (kinoma player), removable battery, expandable memory, the D-pad, The ability to beam data, the long list of thousands of third party apps, compatability with all 3G networks, the 1.3 megapixel digital camera/camcorder or that it's available on all major cell netorks for under $300.

Congratulations on selecting the new iPhone.

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